Adventures in cooking up a baby: "Number Two"

While some women carefully butter their bellies to prevent stretch marks, I am obsessively tending my colon to prevent hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are like stretch marks, once you get them, you can’t get rid of them. Anyone who knows me, knows I am keen to talk about poop, especially at the dinner table. Pre-pregnancy, I am not an everyday bowel mover. Sometimes I will go through phases and be able to go everyday. I love those times and wish they could last forever. Inevitably they don’t last and I have to really put some effort in to keep things moving. They say, “eat lots of fiber and drink plenty of water.” Check and check. Sometimes I think I could eat a whole bag of prunes and still not go. As a pregnant woman, I am of course more stopped up. (Those pesky hormones.) I am taking psyllium twice a day as well as eating my high-fiber, plant based diet. I am having some success in that I am able to produce a little something most days, but most of the time nothing really satisfying. I am keeping track of my poops on my calendar. For successful but unsatisfying days, I put a “P” with a straight mouthed emoticon-face-thing. On the rare occasion that I really feel good about the results of my bathroom visit, my calendar has a “P” with a super happy, smiley emoticon-face-thing. In his new book for people having a baby, Dr. Oz recommends something in addition to the fiber and water treatment. He suggests trying 1500mg of chlorella per day. I took my first dose today. I am hopeful.

Today at our 14 week appointment, we heard the baby’s heartbeat. I am still tripped out. I can’t believe there is an actual person growing in there. My bump is still small, in fact the first night I noticed it I thought I was just bloated. I also can’t feel baby moving around yet so it is easy to feel somewhat disconnected. After hearing the heartbeat, I am more at ease.



  1. You're having a baby!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!! I just found out. Congratulations! Good luck with the pooping thing. I was kind of exactly the opposite when I was pregnant. You should try fermented veggies like real sauerkraut not the kind you buy in the store. I'm not sure where you get that in CA but it's great for your digestive health.

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